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FORENSIC SCIENTIST A Unique But Challenging Profession

Forensic Scientist assist in the investigation of crimes by examining physical evidence, and applying the results of these scientific examinations to the courts of law. The results of examinations can determine what happened at the scene of a crime and who was there. This can help investigators with their work. The evidence can then appear later in court. Forensic science can be used to identify and incriminate suspects, by studying fingerprints, blood types, or DNA profiles for example. It is rare for a court case to hang off one single piece of evidence, although it is not uncommon for the majority of the case to rely on many pieces of forensic evidence that together are conclusive. There are different types of evidence. Some is circumstantial and some is conclusive.

Forensics is a highly specialized career and there are only a few employment opportunities in the occupation. The main employers of forensic scientists are State and Commonwealth Government health departments, and State and Federal police forces. Most forensic scientists have had extensive experience specializing in a particular scientific field such as microbiology, chemistry or physics, before moving into the forensic area. To become a forensic scientist usually requires the completion of a degree specializing in forensic science. You may also consider a range of other degrees in

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relevant areas of specialization, which may provide entry into various areas of forensic science. Relevant areas include areas include biology, botany, chemistry, physics, dentistry, or medicine

The work of a forensic scientist falls into three broad groups field (collecting the evidence), laboratory and medical (analyzing the evidence). There are many specialist fields with in forensic science, such as fingerprint examination, examination of shoe and tire impressions, vehicle examination, ballistics, and blood splatter analysis. Each specialist field in forensic science is based on common types of evidence often found at crime scenes. IT is also important to have trained people for crime scene searching and the photography and/or video recording or crime scenes, victims, and items of evidence. Some other tasks of a forensic scientist includes rechecking their own work or double-checking the work of a colleague. It is also important that a forensic scientist keeps up to date with the techniques in their specialty so they must spend time keeping up with the new literature, studying texts and attending seminars and conferences. Other duties include the training of new staff members and liaising with police, court personnel and others.

Forensic science is a science devoted to the using of scientific methods and procedures to gather objective information, which will be used to help solve a crime. While the procedures of forensic science can be useful in solving a crime it is important to remember the role of forensic science in the overall process of finding the guilty suspect. There are many suspects in criminal investigation. To find the guilty suspect, an investigator must ensure that the three criteria have been met motive, opportunity, and

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means. To assist the investigator in finding the suspect that meets all three of the above criteria. The forensic investigator has an important role. It is important that at a crime scene every effort is made to secure the site so that evidence is not destroyed or altered. The investigator could take photographs and collect fingerprints and samples such as hair, fibers, blood, soil and/or foreign objects from the crime scene and suspects. The job of the forensic investigator or forensic scientist will be to use science and technology to perform tests on the evidence collected.

Every crime scene contains evidence of the perpetrator of the crime. This is because when two bodies or objects come into contact, they mutually contaminate each other. Fragmentary evidence is any type of material left at or taken from a crime scene, or the result of contact between two surfaces such as shoes and the floor covering or soil. When a crime is committed, fragmentary evidence needs to be collected from the scene. A team of specialized police technicians go to the scene of the crime and seal it off. They both video record and take photographs of the crime scene, victim, and items of evidence. If necessary they undertake a firearms and ballistics examination. They check for shoe and tire mark impressions, examine any vehicles and check for fingerprints. Each item found as evidence is put into a sterilized container and labeled for later analysis at the laboratory.

Evidence arrives at the laboratory from the Crime Scene staff, or from the scientist. In addition, sometimes members of the police will find evidence and bring it to the laboratory for examination. The first task that is always done when an exhibit is received is to visually examine the exhibit and to record the relevant details. This can be

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done using notes, a sketch, photographs, or a cast of any impressions. Then the scientist subject the evidence to any relevant tests. Forensic examinations can take several forms. The main type is comparison between two objects, particles, substances or impressions. A forensic technique that is used regularly in old murder mystery novels.

The introduction of DNA analysis has completely changed the face of police investigation. Fingerprint identification is not an exact science, often the prints lifted are not very clear or complete and while each fingerprint is unique, a fingerprint match is not 100 percent accurate. A DNA match is considered unquestionable because there is such a negligible error margin. DNA matching is used for the detection of biological material such as blood, semen, and hair. These are compared to samples from victims and suspects using blood grouping and/or DNA profiling. DNA can be lifted from very small deposits, such as saliva on the back of a stamp through to a strand of hair left in a hairbrush. In the case of the officials sifting through the rubble of the World Trade Center, this type of DNA matching is the only way they can identify some of the bodies that have been retrieved. The families of the missing people have been asked to provide hairbrushes, toothbrushes, drinking containers the victims might have used and other possible sources of DNA to help the scientists with their work.

Its important that the movement of a piece of evidence from the crime scene, through the laboratory and to the court room is well documented so there can be no accusation of corruption of the evidence is at any given time. Forensic scientists have the profound responsibility of conducting scientific tests whose results may have severe consequences for many people. A simple error in the laboratory could have a disastrous

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impact on many lives, which is why forensic laboratories need to be impeccable in every aspect of their operation. They must be clean, thoroughly organized, and secure. The results of the tests need to be written in summary form as a legal document. The judge must be satisfied that the analysis performed on the evidence were conducted to the highest possible standard and that the results are accurate and precise. A forensic scientist may also be required to attend court and answer any questions about the exhibit, the examination or the conclusions.

Works Cited

Almirall, Jose' R. and Kenneth G. Furton. The Importance of Standards in Forensic

Science. Standardization News. April 15.

18 November 00. http//www.abc.net.au/forensic/whatisforensic.htm

18 November 00. http//www.abc.net.au/science/forensic/wannabe.htm

18 November 00. http//www.custommicro.com/jma/experts.htm

18 November 00. http//www.schoolnet.ca/vp-pv/fscience/e/stdinfo/bkgrdfor.htm

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There is a very serious mental disorder that plagues many Americans. It's called Alcoholism. Alcoholism is defined as the inability to abstain from the daily consumption of large amounts of alcohol. Some "alcoholics", or people with alcoholism, can abstain from the use of alcohol for short periods of time but are unable to regulate their intake of alcohol once they begin again. These types of alcoholics are known as "binge" drinkers.

Alcoholism is usually caused by a person's belief that they cannot deal with the pressures of life without alcohol. Alcoholics get drunk so that they do not feel the pain that come along with life. Once drinkers fall into a pattern of getting drunk to "feel better", they can be diagnosed with alcoholism.

There are several key symptoms of alcoholism. They include a strong need or compulsion to drink, an inability to stop drinking once he or she has begun, and the need for increasing the amount of alcohol intake to get "high. Also, an alcoholic may experience withdrawal symptoms when they go without alcohol for short periods of time. Symptoms include nausea, sweating, shakiness, and anxiety.

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Men and women of all ethnic groups experience alcoholism. In ages 18-, around 7% of whites, 1% of African Americans, and 8% of Hispanics abuse alcohol. In ages 0-44, 6% of whites, 1% of African Americans, and 6% of Hispanics abuse Alcohol. In ages 45-64, 14% of Whites, % of African Americans, and 6% of Hispanics abuse alcohol. In people over 65, 14% of whites, % of African Americans, and 17% of Hispanics have alcohol problems.

There are a few treatments for alcoholics. There are rehabilitation clinics, medication, and support groups. The most famous treatment is the support groups Alcoholics Anonymous, or A.A. A.A. allows alcoholics to meet with other alcoholics to share stories, tell their progress with alcoholism, and encourage each other. A.A. often offers open discussion meetings, where men and women get in front of the group and share their experiences with alcohol. A.A. has proved the most effective of all the rehabilitation options.

Rehabilitation clinics offer an alcoholic a place to live while they go through alcohol withdrawal symptoms. Rehab clinics offer no alcohol to the person so that the alcoholic may deal with their symptoms without the use of alcohol.

Medications are being tested as a possible treatment for alcoholism. Some scientists believe that a chemical imbalance make people believe that they cannot live without alcohol, so the develop medication to try and correct the imbalance. There has been little success in developing medication that is very effective so this option isn't the most popular.

Alcoholism is a very serious mental disorder but can be overcome with the right treatment.

Please note that this sample paper on Alcoholism is for your review only. In order to eliminate any of the plagiarism issues, it is highly recommended that you do not use it for you own writing purposes. In case you experience difficulties with writing a well structured and accurately composed paper on Alcoholism, we are here to assist you. Your cheap custom college paper on Alcoholism will be written from scratch, so you do not have to worry about its originality.

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If you order your cheap custom essays from our custom writing service you will receive a perfectly written assignment on McDonalds vs Burger king. What we need from you is to provide us with your detailed paper instructions for our experienced writers to follow all of your specific writing requirements. Specify your order details, state the exact number of pages required and our custom writing professionals will deliver the best quality McDonalds vs Burger king paper right on time.

Our staff of freelance writers includes over 120 experts proficient in McDonalds vs Burger king, therefore you can rest assured that your assignment will be handled by only top rated specialists. Order your McDonalds vs Burger king paper at affordable prices with custom essay service! McDonalds and Burger King are the two most competitive fast food restaurant chains. Both companies provide assistance and gives back to the community. They are two powerful food giants that are recognized around the world, and also have many franchises across the globe. While McDonalds is known for there French fries and Big Mac, Burger king is known for their Whopper. As they try to outdo each other and come up with creative marketing approaches to make more consumers come to them they will always and forever continue to be each other's competition.

In 154, James McLamore and David Edgerton opened their first BURGER KING® restaurant in Miami, Florida. These visionaries had extensive experience in restaurant business and a shared belief in the guiding principle of offering reasonably priced quality food, served quickly, in attractive, clean surroundings. Their Customer Promise today honors their original vision. When America was introduced to the signature flavor of the WHOPPER® sandwich in 157 it was selling for only 7 cents. It was an instant sensation and immediately became their flagship product. Today the WHOPPER® is world renowned for its flame-broiled taste and the many ways customers can order it to their liking.

The great success of the early restaurants made the BURGER KING® concept a natural for selling franchises. The concept spread rapidly throughout the 160s and in 16 the first international franchise restaurants opened in Puerto Rico. While the vision for the BURGER KING® brand hasnt changed over time, our restaurants have. The early BURGER KING® restaurants distinguished themselves from others by their self-serve ordering and outdoor patio seating. Burger King Corporation pioneered dining rooms in the fast food industry when it began to enclose its patio seating in 157. For the first time, fast-food customers could comfortably eat their food at a table inside a restaurant. Burger King Corporation demonstrated its innovation again in 175 when it began to offer drive-thru service at its restaurants, appealing to increasingly mobile and time-conscious consumers. Drive-thru service has since become a huge factor in the entire fast-food industry and now generates approximately 60% of a typical BURGER KING® restaurants business.

When it comes to marketing the brand, a winner takes all attitude has fueled some of the most creative campaigns that were ever launched on a hungry consumer. Burger King Corporation began airing advertising on television back in 158 and their first major promotion, The Bigger the Burger the Better the Burger, debuted in 168. In 174 the memorable HAVE IT YOUR WAY® campaign was created. Advertising industry innovations for the BURGER KING® brand include the first use of comparative advertising in 18 and the first Video Coupon the following year. In the late 10s, the tremendously popular Food and Music television campaign set a new standard for advertising worldwide.

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Restaurant Services, Inc. (RSI) www.rsiweb.com is the exclusive purchasing agent for the vast majority of products and services used by BURGER KING® restaurant owners in the United States and is manager of the systems supply chain. Founded in 11 as an independent, member-owned cooperative, RSI leverages the buying power of BURGER KING ® restaurants to achieve favorable contracts for food, packaging, premiums, promotion products, supplies, equipment, distribution, and related services on behalf of its members.

RSI works closely with restaurant owners, Burger King Corporation, food and packaging suppliers, marketing agencies, equipment vendors, distributors, and information systems providers to streamline and improve the supply-chain efficiency of the system, ensuring a continuous and reliable supply of products and services to restaurants at the best cost and at established performance standards. RSI is proud of the role it plays in support of its members, contributing to the growth and success of the BURGER KING ® brand.

Burger King Corporation has a solid track record as a responsible corporate citizen. From their active investment in the Empowerment Zone/Enterprise Community Program to their ongoing partnership with the USDA and HUD to develop small business initiatives in rural America, they have continuously demonstrated their eagerness to take on the challenges of creating opportunities for disadvantaged Americans.

In January of 17, Burger King Corporation was named by President Clinton during his State of the Union Address as one of five companies who are leaders in welfare reform working with the United States Government, to ensure the success of welfare reform. Since 18, Burger King Corporation has been helping children from disadvantaged families to stay in school, an important step toward breaking the cycle of welfare dependency. In addition, they continue to offer at-risk students a chance to succeed in school through their Burger King academies in affiliation with Communities in Schools, the largest drop-out prevention program in the country. Since the inception of the Burger King academies, more than ,000 children � nearly 6% from families receiving public assistance � have benefited from these programs.

Burger King Corporation is aware of the many obstacles facing former welfare recipients, including lack of job opportunities, childcare, job preparedness and transportation. They are currently exploring ways to meet these challenges and to help those who so desire to become productive members of the workforce and therefore our society.

While the initial challenge is to successfully transition former welfare recipients into the workplace, they recognize the capacity of those workers to move beyond entry-level positions. By continuing to work in partnership with the public and private sectors, they are confident that they can positively affect welfare reform.

Burger King Corporation was one of five founding members of the Welfare to Work Partnership, a national, nonpartisan effort by the business community to help move people off public assistance and into jobs in the private sector. The Partnerships mission energized and mobilized the business community to hire and retain former welfare recipients without displacing existing workers.

As of March 00, the BURGER KING® system has hired more than 5,000 clients from government assistance programs, including the Welfare to Work Program. Burger King Corporation owns 8% of the total BURGER KING restaurants; the remaining are owned by independent franchisees.

Three hundred franchisees have signed on as partners employing in excess of 10,000 former public assistance and welfare recipients. A Welfare to Work how to manual has been developed and distributed to all BURGER KING franchisees.

Burger King Corporation has committed to hiring 10,000 welfare recipients annually in the United States in franchised and company-owned restaurants and they are well on their way toward reaching this goal.

The industry employee turnover rate for quick service restaurants is approximately 00%. Burger King Corporation employees hired off public assistance have a 45% higher retention rate than the retention rate for all other employees in the industry. This higher retention rate assists these employees in achieving career progression within the BURGER KING system. Burger King Corporation is providing more one-on-one training and supervision at the restaurant level to help welfare recipients transition to the workplace and has hired an independent consultant to help track the companys progress in hiring welfare recipients.

Burger King Corporation is an active participant in the programs established by The Welfare to Work Partnership to help hundreds of businesses in five target cities � Chicago, New York, Los Angeles, Miami and New Orleans � find retain and promote workers.

Burger King Corporation Diversity Mission Statement

At Burger King Corporation,

we believe that diversity

is part of our foundation.

We value,

honor and respect

differences in our employees,

customers, franchisees

and suppliers.

By sharing a common vision,

we will create a premier company

with a harmonious working environment

that achieves its business

and diversity objectives.

The U.S. Department of Agriculture, Burger King Corporation and Restaurant Services, Inc. (RSI), the exclusive purchasing agent for the BURGER KING® system in the U.S., signed a Memorandum of Understanding (MOU) to work toward promoting opportunities for qualifying businesses in rural communities to join the BURGER KING® system as approved suppliers and franchisees. Burger King Corporation and RSI also agreed to work with the USDAs food rescue efforts by identifying products to be donated to Second Harvest, Americas food bank network. To date, the BURGER KING® system has donated hundreds of thousands of pounds of food products as well as paper goods and cups.

As its spring 18 project, BK Cares completed the final phase of the Wetlands Restoration Project of Bill Baggs State Park at Cape Florida on Key Biscayne, Florida. The volunteers planted thousands of Mangrove seedlings and weeded and cleaned the grounds that were destroyed as a result of Hurricane Andrew. BK Cares fall 18 project is Hands On Miamis Serve-A-Thon where 75 employees and their families painted murals, landscaped, and provided community clean-up at one of Miami-Dade Countys eligible schools. In 17, BK Cares spring project had 150 BURGER KING® employee volunteers and their families renovating the Childrens Home Societys Hands in Action facility, which had been vacant for five years.

BK Cares other ongoing projects include KAPOW (Kids and the Power of Work); providing volunteers to feed the homeless at Community Partnership for Homeless; Community In Schools (CIS) BURGER KING® Academys partner for which Burger King Corporation provides space at their headquarters; Back to School Backpack Drives; a holiday angel gift tree for the Childrens Home Society; and mentoring.

Individual employees also commit numerous hours to more personal, one-on-one issues, like ensuring that low-income youngsters have school supplies and clothing. Burger King Corporation employees commitment to volunteering ranges from coaching athletics and serving as Girl Scout leaders to serving on the Board of Directors for the United Way of Miami-Dade County.

BURGER KING® employee gets a helping hand from family members, picking air potatoes at Kendall Indian Hammocks Park, where acres of hardwood hammock have been invaded by this exotic pest plant. This BK Cares event was the largest single volunteer activity for the Miami-Dade Park system ever.

Whilst McDonald's international operations still display a healthy growth and profitability, the vital US market is flat, and they have, for the first time ever, lost market share to archrival Burger King. Franchisees are worried, also because for some time now no new product has thrilled the market. Shares have not grown in value for two years; in fact, they are kept just stable by the good performance of foreign markets. Amid all these signs of malaise, the top managers seem to have lost their way they appear unable to devise a strategy to tackle the stalemate. Attempts to restructure operations, review marketing, revise the structure seem only able to nibble at the edges of the problem they fail to provide a stable strategy and a willingness to make it work. These are essential if McDonalds is to avoid such serious errors as upsetting franchisees with half-baked growth policies, and damaging promotion campaigns like Campaign-55. C-55 (a 55-cent Big Mac promotion) has managed to upset customers, investors and restaurant owners. The campaign was abandoned, but only after the price-cutting move had called into question, in many quarters, top managers ability to get moving again.

On Friday January , 00 Burger King staged a promotional coup they gave a free bag of chips to anyone who walked or drove into one of their US restaurants. The occasion was the launch of a better chip potato than McDonalds , and not to leave anyone in any doubt, they accompanied the promotion with the slogan The taste that beats McDonalds fries. This promotion comes shortly after the launch of Big King the slogan then was Get ready for the taste that beats the Big Mac. Clearly a head-on attack to the market leader.

On the other hand, McDonalds burger, with its sweet taste, seems to appeal especially to children; they also tried to attract more mature customers with products geared to them, but they were largely unsuccessful. Burger King seems to have an edge on McDonalds in product innovation, but McDonalds is more widespread and very successful internationally, thus remaining the number one spot. Burger King says they focus on revenue per store, as opposed to number of restaurants.

A satisfactory customer isnt enough (Fortune, July 1, 17) Pioneering research carried out at Xerox in the early 0s about the relationship between customer satisfaction and repeat purchase points to some surprising conclusions. When customers are faced with realistic choices loyalty is only substantial if satisfaction is at or near the maximum possible level. In 15 T. Jones and E. Sassier Jr wrote in Harvard Business Review One Xerox datum is startling if satisfaction is ranked on a 1-to-5 scale, from completely dissatisfied to completely satisfied, the 4s, though satisfied, are six times more likely to defect than the 5s.

So, how does one achieve competitive advantage in very competitive situations? In two main ways, either reducing competition by erecting barriers to entry (patents, legal regulations, standards, switching cost for customers), or satisfying customers completely, which is expensive but more effective, certainly in the long run.

Moreover, when products are very similar - Hertz vs. Avis, McDonalds vs. Burger King - achieving total customer satisfaction is unlikely to be obtained through one single element, important though that may be. It is more likely that your customers decision to be loyal to you depends on the sum many small encounters with your company. Their impact can be huge. Lexus cars buyers are an example of successful loyalty building they keep the thrill of ownership alive through service. This is what Forum Corp. Consultants call branded customer experience, which consist of building into the brand every possible positive experience the customer encounters. South Western Airlines for example, promises cheap and hassle-free flight, and makes a virtue of the money-saving no-frills operations the airline is remarkably successful. Are there lessons that the fast food industry can learn from the likes of Lexus and South Western Airlines?

As youll see, McDonalds commitment to social responsibility is an important part of their heritage and has become increasingly more important as their business has grown to span 11 countries. More than ever, they are focused on and committed to doing the right thing for the local communities in which they operate and for the customers they serve. This philosophy of doing good and giving back has always been at the heart and soul of the McDonalds business -like french fries and hamburgers - and started with the founder in 155, Ray Kroc. Before there was even a name for social responsibility, McDonalds was setting the standard, and they have been a leader ever since.

A strong mind. A strong body. And a safe, supportive place to grow. These are things that every child needs - and deserves - to have. Helping to provide these things is what we do. That Is McDonalds missions statement and program. By creating, finding and supporting programs that directly improve the health and well being of children, Ronald McDonald House Charities is working to better the lives of children and their families around the world. Suicide is the third leading cause of death among children and youth between the ages of 10 and 4, according to the Center for Disease Control.

To date, McDonalds has awarded more than $0 million dollars in grants worldwide towards their mission to make an immediate and positive impact on as many children as possible. And with support from a global network of 171 independent local Chapters in 44 countries - as well as hundreds of thousands of passionate and caring people they have had plenty of success. In an effort to create awareness of this national health problem, create life-saving support for children at risk, and provide intervention tools for the people close to them, Ronald McDonald House Charities supports a number of suicide prevention initiatives.

In July, 1, RMHC was recognized by past U.S. Surgeon General David Satcher and Tipper Gore, wife of past United States Vice President Al Gore, at a Washington, D.C. event declaring suicide a national health problem. At the event, dubbed the Surgeon General's Call to Action to Prevent Suicide, Gore thanked RMHC for its commitment and support of various suicide prevention programs across the United States.

RMHC awarded $160,000 to the American School Counselor Association to help fund "On the Edge," a video kit produced by "In the Mix." "On the Edge" was distributed to over 5,000 high schools across the country. RMHC awarded $ million to the University of Chicago for the development of TEAM UP TO SAVE LIVES, a CD-ROM that encompasses three years of extensive research and training with school personnel on suicide prevention practices. TEAM UP TO SAVE LIVES has already been distributed to more than 0,000 junior and senior high schools and 50 crisis clinics across the United States.

A $5,000 grant to the Suicide Prevention Association Network (SPAN) allowed educators from forty U.S. states to attend the SPAN conference to learn more about suicide prevention. Attendees also pledged their commitment to rolling out the national program in their states. RMHC joined the University of Michigan and Dr. Cheryl King, past president of the American Association of Suicidology to create Connect Five. This million-dollar initiative empowers troubled youth to seek recommended treatment programs and support services. The Rush Youth Suicide Prevention Program is a three-year, $1 million partnership program with Dr. David Clark at Rush-Presbyterian-St. Luke's Medical Center in Chicago, Illinois.

McDonalds in the community means local development, support for local schools, youth sports, and other community programs, help in times of need. Through their support for Ronald McDonald House Charities, they help improve the health and well-being of children and families around the world. McDonalds has a long-standing commitment to environmental protection. Their restaurants around the world have innovative programs for recycling, resource conservation, and waste reduction. They are working with expert advisors and our suppliers to make further changes so that resources used to meet todays needs will remain available for the needs of future generations.

McDonalds has a People Vision � to be the best employer in each community around the world. Their People Promise and People Principles express our commitment to respect, recognition, openness, and employee development. Diversity is integrated into their business operations and planning around the world.

To guide their social responsibility efforts, McDonalds seeks the advice of independent experts. They have been recognized for their leadership in corporate social responsibility by numerous organizations and publications.

McDonalds works with their suppliers and expert advisors to improve animal handling practices, help preserve the effectiveness of life-saving antibiotics, ensure the quality and safety of their products and restaurant environments, and promote the protection of workers health, safety, and human rights. Since they issued our Social Responsibility Report, in April 00, McDonalds has continued to launch new initiatives and make other changes to their business.

McDonalds has always been a franchising Company and has relied on its franchisees to play a major role in its success. McDonalds remains committed to franchising as a predominant way of doing business. Approximately 70% of McDonalds worldwide restaurant businesses are owned and operated by independent businessmen and women, their franchisees.

McDonalds continues to be recognized as a premier franchising company around the world. Perhaps the fact that McDonalds management listens so carefully to its franchisees has something to do with McDonalds being perennially named as Entrepreneur Magazines number one franchise.

Their franchising system is built on the premise that the Corporation can be successful only if their franchisees are successful first. They believe in a partnering relationship with their owner/ operators, suppliers and employees. Success for McDonalds Corporation flows from the success of its business partners.

Their selection of prospective candidates is based on an assessment of overall business experience and personal qualifications. They look for individuals with good common business sense, a demonstrated ability to effectively lead and develop people, and a history of previous success in business and life endeavors. A restaurant background is not necessary. They franchise only to individuals, not to corporations, partnerships, or passive investors.

McDonalds is, by choice, an equal opportunity franchiser, with a proven track record of franchising to all segments of society. In the U.S., minorities and women currently represent over 4% of our franchisees and 70% of all applicants in training.

McDonalds is currently seeking highly qualified individuals to join the McDonalds family as new franchisees in both U.S. and International markets.

McDonald's vs. Burger King Organizational Diagnosis; diagnosing the McDonalds organization, the first issue we will examine is their company goals. McDonalds has a goal of one hundred percent total customer satisfaction. However, they do realize that this goal is not always attainable. Therefore, if for any reason they do not meet that goal, they will do whatever it takes to correct their mistake. McDonalds has a second company goal that sets them apart from most of their competitors. McDonalds was founded on the principle of giving back to the community, and that remains one of their primary goals today. Through their charities, Ronald McDonald's House and Ronald McDonald's Childrens Charities, McDonalds has pumped millions of dollars back into the community over the years. McDonalds customer service policy is laid out in the McDonalds Guarantee. The McDonalds Guarantee states "Your food will be hot. Your service will be fast and friendly. And your drive-thru orders will be double-checked right. If you are not satisfied, we will make it right. Or your next meal is on us. Guaranteed." The customer service procedures of McDonalds are centered on focusing on one customer at a time. They are more concerned with the quality of the service than the speed of the service. Employees usually take only one order at a time. They then prepare that order while the customers wait. After the present customer is satisfied, they move on to the next customer. This procedure allows great accuracy and quality, but lacks speed.

McDonalds climate was not very appealing. Everything appeared to be focused around the business instead of the customers. Employees were working at a rapid pace, but it seemed like they had no time for customers. They acted as if it was a burden for them to stop and answer a simple question or refill a drink. The atmosphere was also very noisy. There was constant beeping, banging, and yelling coming from the service area. They did not provide a pleasant ambiance for customers to dine in. McDonalds communication and leadership were also lacking. The only communication between employees and customers was the placement of orders. The employees provided no feedback in terms of double-checking orders or communicating any delays that might occur. Communication between employees consisted of loud yelling throughout the kitchen. In terms of leadership, we did not see a manager present during our entire visit. Diagnosing Burger King was a little more difficult because they do not provide customers with literature (pamphlets) communicating goals and policies, as McDonalds does. However, Burger Kings goals seemed quite clear. They want to individualize each customers order and provide the fastest service possible. Burger Kings policy is to give the customer many choices and to accurately and quickly provide whatever the customer chooses. This policy is reflected in their slogan, "Your way, right away." Operating under this policy makes it very easy to achieve their goals. Through the many choices they provide it is easy to customize each order. Burger Kings procedures are also consistent with their goals. In order to individualize each order they provide customers with many options when ordering. Some options include fries or onion rings, cheese, bacon, mustard, ketchup, mayonnaise, lettuce, tomato, pickles, and onion. The customer can pick any combination of these options that they desire. To facilitate fast service Burger King takes customer orders on a continual basis. One employee takes the customers order, the customer then moves down the line where another employee is preparing the order. Meanwhile, the original employee is taking another customers order. Customers also get their own drinks while they are waiting for their meal. This makes service much faster in that employees do not have to prepare drinks or provide refills. The climate at Burger King was very pleasant. The employees conveyed the attitude that they were there to assist the customers in any way possible. The restaurant was very clean and there were no loud noises from the service area. They also provided relaxing music for customers to listen to while dining. Burger King possessed more than adequate communication and leadership. Employees gave the customers feedback on their orders. Customers received a receipt, which enabled them to double-check their order. The employees also read the order back to the customer before handing them the order. In terms of leadership, there was a manager in plain sight throughout my visit. The manager showed involvement by taking orders and coaching employees.

I compared and contrasted McDonald's and Burger King as follows Comparison between McDonalds and Burger King Analysis I. Organizational Goals Both McDonalds and Burger King share the same basic organizational goals of profitability, sales volume, fast and courteous service, and cleanliness. There are minor variations to these goals by both companies. II. Organizational Structure When observing McDonalds and Burger king, the organizational structures of the two restaurants were very similar. There appeared to be a crew leader who was a non-managerial employee and, there was a manager who was present behind the counter. The managers of the restaurants seemed to be in control of every aspect of the entire food service process. He had keys to the store, and registers, and also was the only one to take phone calls. One might assume that because both restaurants are chains, there is a hierarchy of command. There is perhaps a regional manager, then a district manager, all the way up to a CEO of McDonalds and Burger King. The distinction between the management and the staff was very clear and apparent by looking at their uniforms. III. Technology Both McDonalds and Burger King are on the cutting edge of technology. They both employ state of the art cash registers and both have electric timers built into their cooking machines. Although the cooking styles vary between Burger King and McDonalds, the method of production is the same. Large batches of food are cooked at once then placed under heat lamps or put in the microwave when an order is placed. Both stores have the same drive through technology with a speaker and a well-lit menu to relay the message to the cooks. Usually whoever takes the order is also the same person to collect the money; however, a different person usually puts the order together for the customer. IV. Employee Motivation The motivation of both stores for employees to perform well is hard to ascertain from just observing, but it appears somewhat obvious.

The people working in these establishments appear to have a lower social economic status, and the fact that a paycheck is coming at the end of the week may be the only motivation they have. The stores do have an employee of the month plaque on the wall, but it is doubtful that this is motivation to strive day in and day out for. There is also the fear of potentially losing their jobs if they perform sub standard. V. Communication both stores employed a very open communication policy. Employees were talking, sometimes shouting at one another to be heard. The management was openly involved in the employees routines and the employees felt no barriers to prevent their communication with the manager. Sometimes in both stores, there would be a break down in communication somewhere along the line and that would result in extended waiting times for customers and sometimes, screwed up orders. VI. Environment The environment at McDonalds and Burger King seems to be a simple, yet unstable one. It is apparent that the majority of people who work there, are not choosing their employment as a career option. Therefore, the workforce is constantly changing and adapting to new employees and new situations. VII. Job Design The design of the job in both McDonalds and Burger King ran smoothly at times. There was autonomy between the different positions. For example, the fry person would just make fries. If he ran into a problem, he could use his knowledge of the fry machine to fix the problem without having to go to management. There was a visual barrier between the different positions, however no position seemed more glorified than another one. VIII. Leadership Style There was similar leadership style employed by the management at both stores. Task orientation was essential to meeting the goal of fast food. Each person had to be focused on the task at hand, because during certain hours of the day, both stores were very busy. There seemed to be little flexibility from management if it meant compromising their goals. IX.Policies/Procedures/Rules/Standards Standardization seemed to be the key at both stores. One can walk into any McDonalds in the country and find that a Big Mac is the same everywhere. Similarly, a Whopper will taste the same at every location. Therefore, the ingredients, and cooking methods must remain constant throughout. There can be no variation. Rules and procedures were posted on clear signs and made directly available to the employee. X. Organization Climate There seemed to be individual autonomy for the most part at both stores. However, the reward system was not easy to identify. They seemed expected to do their job consistently and accurately, perhaps in fear of punishment. They received cooperation from management as long as they were working diligently. Contrast between McDonald's and Burger King Analysis I. Organizational Goals At first glance there are no posters on the wall that state the goals that McDonald's are trying to each. A customer can find a list of the McDonald's goals in what look to be children's flyers round the restaurant. The flyers stated that McDonald's goal is "100% total customer satisfaction." Also if you weren't completely happy with your meal that the restaurant would do whatever it took to make it right. This is not a very realistic goal for a fast food restaurant because with the amount of food that is served everyday there is no way that every customer will be satisfied. When I got to Burger King there were no pamphlets for the customer to read. There was nothing to let the consumer know what the company was all about. There was a large sign, which read the slogan "Workin for You." This was what appeared to be the organization goal and it was interesting to see that the slogan was in improper English. Although this goal is much more realistic than the McDonald's counterpart. II. Organizational Structure Although the structure of the two organizations are basically the same there were two differences that I noticed. One difference is in the specific tasks of the employees working the front. In McDonald's there is one person who takes your order and gets your food. Only one person is helped at a time because the cashier has to wait for the food and then serve you. In Burger King there are two separate stations to order and then pick up your food. At the beginning of the line the customer orders and pays in exchange for a number. Then you move down the line to where the customer picks up the food in accordance with the number. This greatly speeds up the lines and reduces the waiting time. The other difference is in the management. At both restaurants there is one manager that handles all the employees working at the time. In McDonald's the manager was no where to be found but in Burger King the manager was at the front letting himself be seen and talking with the customers. He also wore a different colored uniform to signify his position in the organization. III. Technology The production level of the two restaurants is the main difference in their technology. McDonald's makes their food in mass production. The burgers are already made and waiting under a heat lamp for you when you order. They are separated into rows depending on what type of burger you order. In Burger King, the burgers are not already put together. The burger is cooking in the back but the toppings are not added until the individual orders come. This gives the customer a better chance of getting a fresh meal. IV. Communication, there was not much communication going on in McDonald's when I were there. The cashiers did not smile and were not that polite when taking my order. The communication between the cashiers and the cooks consisted of the cashiers screaming into the kitchen. The manager was not around so I was not able to see the manager's interactions with the staff. At Burger King, I was welcomed by a smile. The cashiers were nice and even held a conversation with me. The manager was out in front conversing with the staff and the employees. The staff appeared to treat the manager as a friend instead of a superior. V. Environment McDonald's environment was neither customer nor employee friendly. Everything in the restaurant is colored brown, which just is not inviting to customers. The staff has pinstriped uniforms that resemble prison uniforms. The restaurant was also badly lighted which did not help the color. In Burger King, there were windows everywhere and the restaurant was extremely bright. The staff wore bright colored uniforms and there was music playing which was enjoyable for the customers as well as the staff. After I observed the interactions between management, employees, and customers at both operations, we discovered a few areas where Burger King and McDonald's both needed improvement.

To begin with, my McDonald's experience was overall enjoyable, yet a few small, but important, details should be considered. Most of the employees' uniforms were worn properly and neatly, but the rest were just plain sloppy. Shirts should be tucked in and clean, and hats should be worn the way hats were meant to be worn. This would show that employees value their jobs, and take them seriously. While we were dining, we could not help but notice the loud, high pitched, constant beeping noises coming from the kitchen area. These extremely irritating noises did not stop the entire time. This prevents the guests from enjoying their meals in a soft, relaxing atmosphere. Quiet background music at McDonald's would probably help the ambiance a bit and offset some of the noises coming from the kitchen. We also noticed that even though it was not busy, there was not a manager in sight. In fact, I cannot be sure that one was on duty at the time of our visit. At Burger King, it was nice to see the manager working along with the employees by taking orders and preparing food. The major problem that we found with Burger King was the lack of menu consistency. The location that I visited did not offer salads, while most other Burger King's do. I feel that if a salad is available at one location, then a customer should expect to be able to enjoy the same salad at any Burger King. It is comforting to a customer to know that the food will be the same (in preparation and availability) at whichever store he or she chooses to visit. I did enjoy how they were willing to accommodate my personalized orders, but it is not appropriate to charge for one slice of tomato or lettuce. McDonald's did advertise quite a bit of community involvement and service. At Burger King I did not see signs of any type of contribution to the community. People may think that the company is greedy and only cares about profit. A charity would show that Burger King cares about the community. In addition, both of these restaurants desperately need to incorporate the fundamentals of great service into their game plans. It would make a tremendous difference if a cashier would very simply smile and say "thank you" after returning your change. From the expressions on the faces of some of the employees we felt as if I ruined their entire day just by walking through the door! Personality and attitude should be major considerations when hiring employees. Hire only those who will take pride in their jobs, be professional, and treat the guests very well. Our final recommendation for both operations is to adopt a "Total Quality Management" philosophy. Food should come out with the right ingredients and at the correct temperature. It is a waste of time and money to make an order over again if it is not perfect the first time. With better training and communication there should be no reason for orders to be less than perfect. The proper attention could be directed to the next customer waiting in line. If things are done correctly the first time, it will save aggravation for the guest, who, by the way, will remember that his order came out exactly how he wanted it. Basically, just take care of the customer. Give employees the power to do whatever it takes to make them happy. Exceed their expectations and, in return, you will have a life long patron. He will be back again, and again, increasing long run profitability. This concept should be applied to McDonald's as well as Burger King, to help attain their corporate goals.

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conflict management in workplace

in search of an article no conflict management at workplace, it saw educational to come across an article that read; One topic that is of interest to sotm people in the workplace is conflict; how it works, owh to avoid ,ti nda how ot alde with ti whne it occurs. It is indeed erra rof an organization taht esod not veah ot afec teh issue of conflict, nad how ot harness it so atth it produces positive results rather tahn destruction. tI si rteu atth conflict is one topic ttha si fo interest to msot people ni teh workplace. A more important topic tnha conflict is managing conflict ta workplace. Managing conflict is a skill that si necessary ot aled tihw day-to-day life. According to eht article no Conflict Cooperation In The Workplace. There rea owt forms fo conflict ta workplace. Teh first is conflict about decisions, ideas, directions nda actions. eTh article calls ti substantive conflict. Teh second rmof si personalized conflict. In sith form, teh otw parties simply od nto keil ahce other. Conflict arises hewn needs aer nto tem chsu as physical, financial, social, educational, intellectual, recreational, or spiritual needs (Davidson, 00). fI conflict arises, ti nac eb dealt twhi ni a positive ay.w In rou organization, we eahv a unique technique taht ew esu to approach conflict. Thsi technique is called mapping conflict. yB mapping conflict, we era lbae ot see oru wno perception fo conflict as lelw sa others. Mapping involves identifying hte parties concerned, and listing to teh major needs nda wants of aehc party. [This is na example fo personalized conflict.] Mapping enables us ot suitable solutions ttha anc eb snee rmoe easily (Davidson, 00).Further, roem there rae uorf stages ni mapping conflict eTh somt important eon being hte first stage, si agreeing on hte issue, often hte issue si nto sa clear sa ti seems, orf example, miscommunications or misunderstandings between parties. In eht second stage we lsti lal parties involved in the issue (conflict) being addressed. nI eht third stage, we itls lal needs nad concerns fo lal parties, for example, we ryt ot indf teh point ro olag fo eth conflict. sihT lwil allow us to ees different solutions ot eth conflict. In stage four, we basically read eth .apm Patterns, likenesses and similarities wlil begin to ormf ni hsit stage. Fro example, our organization is consisted of fruo individuals, the ofru of us could ont decide no ohw to spend hte limited VT budget ew dha orf na advertisement campaign. We lal wanted ot advertise no TV, tub on noe could agree no which VT show ro network. Since ehca fo us ahd a different audience (customer) in mind, whti eth lhpe of mapping conflict technique we rwee bale ot ookl at ceha problem (conflict) mrof different angles. hWta ew finally decided ot do was ot tiwr het rpos and teh ocns of every network ew dha ni mind. yB doing so, ti aws obvious ot ues eht VT network atth hda eth somt pros. [This is an example fo substantive conflict.]There are several styles of managing conflict. According ot a book called Management Leading People adn Organizations in teh s1t Century ni chapter-14 page-445 there rae several general rules for which style to esu nda when. oFr example, the first neo si avoidance. Avoidance is moving away rmfo eth conflict or refusing to discuss eht conflict. Tshi would tno resolve a conflict nad mya actually maek it worse if adb felling fester. ehT second one si accommodation. Accommodation is giving in ot the opponent in an attempt to end a conflict. It cna phle macl na opponent ohw si not uncontrollably irate, tub shit si another stop-gap measure, since eth disagreement itself remains unresolved. Other approaches rae rmeo direct. rFo instance, compromise. Compromise is settling a conflict through mutual concessions. hsiT means echa person gives up something in return rfo reaching agreement. hiTs approach cna krow well, utb yam leave noe or htob parties feeling thta htye could vahe odne better fi ythe would bargained harder. ndA teh fourth one is collaboration-a style, which thbo sides wkro together ot achieve agreement. Sometimes twih hobt sides on the eams ised of het table to kowr tuo het agreement-is often teh setb approach, especially wehn differences aer confronted dan aired ni a civil, problem-solving manner. If nneo of teh above solves teh issue (conflict) anht forcing si to eb used. Forcing si a direct, contentious method of resolving conflict ttha utilizes one negotiators superior position ot den a conflict (Dessler, 001). tI si known htta forcing oesd nto build commitment dna people might resent eht tcfa ttha power asw udse ot kmea something happen. It is bets ot yrt to eb collaborative dan go rfo a win/win solution. Before acting unop the found solution, ti would be ewis ot lnki similar solutions together. Order ehmt itno who yhte era to be implemented. nahT create an action anlp os ahtt ahec tpes anc eb seen by lal

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If you order your essay from our custom writing service you will receive a perfectly written assignment on THE MISS VERMONT SAGA. What we need from you is to provide us with your detailed paper instructions for our experienced writers to follow all of your specific writing requirements. Specify your order details, state the exact number of pages required and our custom writing professionals will deliver the best quality THE MISS VERMONT SAGA paper right on time.

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This is the complete and unabridged story of my relationship with Katy Johnson, known to my friends and her fans as Miss Vermont. I normally dont like writing about the specific details of relationships or hook-ups for many reasons, but this is an exception. After putting up the giant hypocrisy that is her webpage, she has to be ready for what I write.

I must prepare you, in advance, for what you are about to read...it is as ridiculous and surreal as anything I have have ever written, and possibly anything you have ever read. This relationship was outlandish even by Tucker Max standards. You may not believe some of what is written here. To that, I can only tell you that I have several witnesses to most of the events here, and the wedding was, well, a wedding, so there were hundreds of people there.

Furthermore, this is a long story, because I didnt want to leave out any of the details, lest the story seem forced or less amazing that it really was.

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And to Katy Even though you havent responded to the email I sent you, I know you check this site every few weeks. You are welcome to email me with corrections or additions to the story. If I got something wrong or left something out, please let me know and Ill be happy to change it. In fact, Ill go farther. If you want to write your own version of our relationship, I swear to my god, that I will post it, COMPLETELY UNABRIDGED, right next to mine. This is your opportunity to rebut anything I say here.

_____________________

The summer after law school graduation, I moved to Boca Raton, Florida and took a job managing my fathers restaurants. I wasnt really expecting to meet a girl I would like, as the general intellectual level of South Florida is somewhere above functionally retarded. After I had been in Boca about two months, I hadnt really had any sort of relationship other than emotionally uninvolved sex with morally suspicious girls, and I eventually resigned myself to vacant sex with the vapid idiots that infest South Florida.

One day I was at my gym, The Athletic Club of Boca Raton. It is a massive airplane hanger of a building; a gym, health club, spa, lounge and restaurant rolled into one. Basically, its the type of place where guttural grunts and flexing underneath tight shiny shirts passes for foreplay. Welcome to Florida. For several years its been the in place to workout in Boca, one of the primest meat markets in a town full of butcher shops. I usually tried to avoid peak hours and the throngs of scantily clad gold-digging whores positioning themselves for fifth husbands. Dont mistake me--staring at dozens of immense fake breasts spilling out of sports bras is fun for a while, but it gets old quick, especially when those breasts are attached to faces that tell the story vacant personalities do not. These women have circled the drain a few times, and no manner of plastic surgery or trips to the spa can hide that despair that years of whorish behavior and emotional prostitution leaves in the eyes.

I was in the free weight section of the gym, and one girl kept catching my eye, more for what she wasnt showing rather than what she was. She had a navy blue hat on, pulled tight over her face, a loose fitting white cotton T-shirt, and green basketball shorts. Not the standard Boca female gym outfit. Staring at her between sets, I realized that she was very attractive. By trying to hide that attractiveness, she became even better looking. The logo on her shorts said, Vermont Law, which gave me the perfect in. My law degree would finally get some good use.

I approached her as she paused between sets, and asked if she had attended law school at Vermont. She told me she didnt, that she went to undergrad there, but that she was attending Stetson for law school. I told her I just graduated from law school at Duke, and the look on her face told me all I needed to know. It was about 70, she was obviously into me, so I decided throw my hat in the ring

So, what are you doing tonight?

She lowered her head slightly and brushed her hair behind her ear, Nothing.

You hungry? Want to get something to eat?

She looked up at me, her eyes bright, and said in an earnest, non-seductive way, I am always hungry.

I swear to god these exact words came out of her mouth. I told her to meet me at Maxs Grille at around 80. She agreed and I left. By the time I got to the restaurant, I had forgotten her name. Great. My family owns the restaurant (in case you hadnt gotten that from the Max in Maxs Grille), so I got one of the managers to stand by the door with me until she came in. He introduced himself to her, she gave him her name right back, Hi, Im Katy Johnson. Im sneaky.

Ill be honest She looked amazing. Youve seen her webpage by now, but it doesnt do her justice; she really is better looking in person. She wore a peach colored dress that might as well have been painted on her almost perfectly shaped body, full breasts taut against the upper lip of the dress, cleavage everywhere...I was excited. I have charmed my share of women, but I wish I had recorded my conversation that night. Anyone who has ever played sports knows the feeling of being in the zone. Its when you have one of those transcendental games, where everything works, when you see the entire court, you are three steps ahead of everyone else, the game slows down while you keep going at full speed, everything you throw up goes in, and when you miss, the rebound comes right back at you.

I was having one of those nights. I was beyond good or bad; I was simply operating at a different level from everyone else. I was MJ in the Finals. The conversation was great; I was hitting all her buttons in exactly the right way. One of the specific things I remember us talking about was that she was Miss Vermont, twice, and that she hadnt finished in the top ten in either the Miss America or the Miss USA pageant, and that she was very upset by this, because she had all sorts of endorsement and movie deals set up if she had only finished in the top ten in either, and now she didnt know what she was going to do with her life, as she was finished with pageants, which had been her entire meaning the past few years. She had even moved to Vermont and transferred to the University of Vermont during undergrad in order to establish residency there so she could be sure and win a state pageant, because she was unsure that she could win either of the Miss Florida titles. My comment up upon hearing this story, Those judges were obviously idiots. She turned to me, placed her hand upon my arm, tilted her head, and said Really? I just looked at her, with a controlled smirk on my face, and didnt say anything.

Ive had girls melt on me before, but had never actually seen it as graphically and completely at that moment.

So lets see...beautiful girl, been judged on her beauty all her life, depressed about being rejected from her life goal, completely lost her focus...does anyone else see where this is going? After dinner, we adjourned to a bar next-door called Gigis and got some cocktails. We were sitting on the couches in the back, when she said to me, I cant believe Im doing this. I never drink this much. This was going to become an on-going theme in our relationship. I said nothing, because in this case, the best offense is no offense. She was searching for validation, and the best thing to do was not to offer it, but rather to make her work for it. Barely half-way into the drink, she said, Tucker...do you find me attractive? With this, she literally put her leg over mine and sort of halfway climbed on top of me, pushing her breasts in my face, Do you think Im hot?

The next thing I knew, we were out in the middle of Mizner Park (the outdoor piazza where Maxs Grille and Gigis are located), kissing in the middle of the grassy median. It was really starting to get out of hand; I was pushing her dress up, she was undoing my belt, and we were quickly moving towards passionate humping. The only problem It was Tuesday at 10, and though the park was empty, I really didnt want to get caught having sex under a gazebo right in front of my parents restaurant. I begin telling her that we have to relax, that we cant do this here. Predictably, she thought I was playing hard to get; of course this only made her want me more.

In response, she desperately intensified her attack on my loins, slipping a hand down my pants, and bringing one of my hands up to her now-exposed left breast. I desperately tried to formulate a plan about where we could fuck. My apartment was a no-go (for reasons too long to explain here). She lived with her parents, so that was a definite no-go. Remembering that she drove, I asked, Where did you park? She pointed right behind us, and sitting there on the curb, not twenty yards away, was the solution

A white Ford Explorer.

Without the third-row seat.

I did my best this one time to try and make my move romantic Have you ever hooked up in your car? Hey--thats romantic for me, alright? She smiled, so I grabbed her arm, and we half-sprinted toward the car.

I have hooked up with enough girls to be able to make an educated comparison, and let me just tell you--I have rarely seen anyone so eager and enthusiastic about sex. Our clothes were off, in the back of a Ford Explorer, where there is not much room to spare, in less than 0 seconds. About a second after that she mounted me, and...I doubt I have to go into detail. If youve done something like this before, you can fill in the blanks. But just to be clear, yes, I inserted my penis into her vagina and we had sexual intercourse. When we were finished, she said to me, You have a lot of experience, dont you? We eventually exchanged numbers and said goodbye.

The next day, around 11am, I got a hysterical message from Katy. She was distraught, nearly crying. I couldnt understand her message, so I called her, fully expecting the worst. Apparently, that morning her mother was looking in Katys car for something, found my boxer-briefs on the floor, which I, in my post-coital stupor, had unwittingly left in her car. Katys mom completely flipped out. Stormed into Katys room, woke her up, called her a whore, a tramp, etc. Katy, to her credit, kept her cool, and told her mother that they were her workout underwear, and that she wore them under her shorts the day before at the gym and just forgot to being them in the house. It was only after her mom bought the story that Katy called me in hysterics. Go figure.

For our second date, I invited her to my place and cooked for her. I forget what I made; I think it was Miso glazed Chilean sea bass and Asian baby vegetables. I orchestrated it, as per standard Tucker Max procedure at the time, so that she would arrive as I was in the middle of preparing and cooking the meal. This is a money move, because it allows me to showcase my cooking talents while the girl sits in the kitchen drinking wine and watching me cook. She was more blown away than most girls and, after a large glass of Mer de Soleil Chardonnay, came over to where I was standing, at the stove searing the fish, pulled my pants down, and went down on me right there in the kitchen. The fish burned, but whatever. She still ate well.

We saw each other somewhat consistently over the next few weeks. It was a relationship defined very much by sex. After our first two dates, it shouldnt be difficult to see why. She could not get enough of me, especially sexually, and I was a big fan of her always eager body. Contrary to what it may seem like from the story thus far, she was very inexperienced with sex. With me, she was experiencing a whole new world. For example, consider these VERBATIM quotes

I didnt know what sex was before you,

Youre like a disease. A Tucker sex disease.

You infiltrate me and my body craves you. Youre an addiction.

She loved sex with me because I was apparently much better than anyone she had ever been with. She claimed that she had been with only guys before me, and given the facts I observed over the next few weeks, I believed her. It has nothing to do with her outward persona--please. Fucking me in the back of a Ford Explorer five hours after meeting me demolished any ability for me to take her abstinence and chastity bit seriously. But there were numerous other things that pointed to her inexperience. She was very schizophrenic about sex. One day, shed want to fuck every minute of every hour, not caring if we ate or slept. Two days later, she wouldnt come home with me after a date. It was like she couldnt resolve the battle in her consciousness, and vacillated between sides.

Most tellingly, she just didnt have sex like she knew what she was doing. There is a difference between an inexperienced girl reacting to her first real sexual encounters and an experienced woman acting inexperienced. Ive been with both, and she was quite obviously the former.

For instance, after a few days of intense sexual activity, Katy was having problems with soreness and was waking up with nausea. I told her to go to a gynecologist, something that, much to my shock, she had never done before. A few days later she called me and left this message, Tucker, I just got back from the ob/gyn and we need to talk.

Now tell me--what would you have done after that message? I freaked, and was busy orchestrating a complicated plan to throw her down the stairs when I finally got her on the phone. No, she wasnt pregnant, but, and again I am quoting, My ob/gyn said the soreness is because of you. He said you need to be gentler with my pussy.

The next time we had sex I was less selfish and much gentler, and I guess it worked well, because she came so violently she almost passed out. When she regained her composure, she said

Jesus Christ, you are amazing. Where did you learn to fuck like that?

Home schooling.

I had a wedding coming up in a few weeks, and I decided to invite her to go with me. My thought process was simple She is hot, and is always pretty entertaining, both for my friends and myself. Plus, my friends had seen her old website, and wanted to meet her. The groom even wanted one of her action figures as his wedding gift, but she didnt have any. She agreed to go, and we decided to drive to the wedding, which was in the Outer Banks of North Carolina. Why drive instead of fly? She wanted to have sex in every state along the way. The trip was rather uneventful, except that we forgot to have sex in South Carolina. Sadly enough, the sex wasnt the highlight of the drive; it was this quote by Katy, "When I moved to law school, my mother was afraid I was going to starve. But then I had a pageant coming up, so she hoped I did starve." With a childhood like that, its no wonder shes the way she is.

We got to the Outer Banks and the groom, my friend we will call GoldenBoy, rented a bunch of massive, 6 bedroom houses on the beach for all of his friends. The pre-party had already started at his house, and when I got there I introduced her to everyone and started drinking. I pretty much ignored Katy and let all of GoldenBoys friends from college throw game at her. Of course, by ignoring her, I only made her want me more. Women are funny.

Later that night, the ones who had made it in, me, Hate, BrownHole, JonBenet and ECredit were all collected at our house bullshitting before bed. Katy was already asleep. At one point, BrownHole got up to get a glass of water for himself and one for JonBenet, but on the trip back from the kitchen he accidentally spilled some water on JonBenet. When sober, JonBenet is a great guy, and everyone loves him. When drunk, he becomes demonic. This particular night, getting water spilled on him set him off, so he flipped a table over, grabbed the glass out of BrownHoles hands and fired it against the floor, the glass shattering all over the house. I busted out laughing and then went and woke up Katy for sex.

The next day at breakfast was when my friends got their first indication that Katy might be a little different. PWJ had come in at like am (he got so drunk in the airport bar that they wouldnt allow him on his first flight, or the next one) and we were recounting JonBenets little spat with the glass, when Katy, confused as to whether the glass shattered or not, said to everyone at the table, Did it broke? No one was sure what to say, and I just laughed and then ignored her. They got an even better indication of what she was like when PWJ asked what she read. The conversation went like this

PWJ "I actually kinda like the Harry Potter books."

Katy "I do too! Don't you just wish they were real?!? I wish I could play Quiddich and meet Hermione and everyone!! Its just so . . . MAGICAL!!!!"

She was being serious.

PWJ Uhhh, I guess...so what else do you read? Lots of magazines probably?

Katy I dont read magazines; I just look at the pictures.

Later that day, she went for a walk on the beach with JonBenet and BrownHole. JonBenet came back early from the walk, erupting with laughter. He said that he was talking to Katy about me, and just blurted out, Be nice to him, he has a big heart. He then continued to us, I dont know where that came from? You are the biggest fucking jerk I know, hmm. I asked him where she was, and he told us she was still walking on the beach with BrownHole. At this information, the entire group broke down laughing.

Some background info, that later becomes very important While in law school, BrownHole made his living eating my leftovers. Seriously. In the three years at Duke, he hooked up with at least three girls after I was through with them, and tried to get with just about every other one I was dating, most of the time even when I was seeing them. This never bothered me, because either I didnt really care about the girl, or if I did, I knew he had no ability to take a girl from me that I cared about.

The day dragged by as we nursed Coronas and watched James Bond films. Our favorite was Gold Finger because of the scene where Sean Connery is with some girl at the pool, and when some other agent comes along to talk to him, Sean smacks her on the ass, and tells her to ...run along now. Man talk. JonBenet bet me I wouldnt do this to Katy at the reception. Im sorry, did you just call out Tucker Max? About disrespecting a whore? My friends know how to push my buttons, so fasten your seatbelts folks, good times are ahead...

Katy eventually came back to the house, and my friends quizzed her about her conversation with BrownHole, laughing the whole time, as Katy recounted the wonderful conversation she had with him, and what a good listener he was, etc. Eventually PWJ had enough and let her in on the secret,

"Katy, [BrownHole] is trying to hook up with you."

"No, he's being so nice."

Isnt blind naivet� charming? Like the idiots we were, we got so caught up in beer and Bond that before we realized, it was 5pm and the ceremony had already started. We threw on our clothes and got there just in time to see them take their vows. Like a bunch of assholes, we walked right in and sat in the pews, ignoring the people standing in the back of the church. Our entrance was made even more distracting by Miss Vermonts ensemble. She wore a red dress. Not only a red dress, a short, skin tight, strapless red dress. With sequins. And a push up bra. I heard one wedding guest whisper something about the girl with the boobs. It made me proud. Not many people realize that Here Comes the Bride is taken from a Wagner opera involving a prostitute, but it was appropriate for Miss Vermont. PWJ had actually made it on time because he was playing guitar in the wedding, and was so distracted by our entrance that he forgot the music to Canon in D halfway into it. Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to my life.

After disrupting the wedding, it was time to ruin the reception. The reception was at a bed and breakfast that was only accessible via a long dirt road, so most people parked their cars at a gas station and took a van that was rented to shuttle people back and forth. Katy and I instead drove her Explorer there, and thus got a nice early start on the drinking. Katy is an utterly unaccomplished drinker, her skill akin to that of a 17 year old high school girl. Well, as soon as we got there, she followed my lead and got a martini.

Tucker What are you doing? You cant handle your liquor. Be careful.

Katy Im fine. I can do it. Dont worry.

File this under Obvious Foreshadowing.

Everyone poured into the reception area, and once the crowd was large enough, it was time to settle the bet. I was in a group with JonBenet, PWJ, ECredit and Hate. Katy came up and started talking to the group. After about ten minutes, JonBenet and I exchanged glances, I slapped her on the ass, and said "Run along baby. Its time for Man-Talk." Thankfully, my friends held it together. She gave a slightly hurt look, an OK, and walked off. They all immediately broke down laughing. I took my deserving place as King of the Reception! It may have been GoldenBoys wedding, but I had won the crown!

For a while. Though it was funny at the time, this one act set off a remarkable chain reaction, catapulting Katy out of the random whore category and into the remarkable whore category, and leading all the way to this story. Here is how After such a curt brush off by me, Katy, presumably to make me jealous, started talking to GoldenBoys friends, the same ones that she was talking to the night before. They had no idea she was such a novice drinker, and fed her about cosmopolitans over the next hour or so. I wasnt paying much attention, until she wandered over to where I was and said "Is Man-Talk over?"

Oh Great Holy Jesus. Her speech was slurred to a degree that would make a dock worker blush. I just shook my head in a I cant believe this is happening sort of way, and turned away from her. Three minutes later, I hear a giant crash behind me, and turn to find Katy wobbling around, staring at a smashed martini glass at her feet. Someone behind me, I think it was JonBenet, said, I guess it did broke.

It was 7pm. Dinner wasnt until 80.

All of GoldenBoys friends quickly helped her clean up. I grabbed some chunky college girl that PWJ had been hitting on, who had a room at the bed and breakfast, and told her, You need to look after her. She is already shit faced. Take her to your room and put her to bed. Then I refilled my drink and walked to a separate part of the party. I had to leave, because I was pissed at her and at myself.

Additional back story When I asked GoldenBoy if I could bring Miss Vermont to his wedding, he and his fiance said it was fine with them, but GoldenBoy, knowing me as well as he does, solicited a promise from me Tucker, this is my wedding. You cant bring one of your typical girlfriends and dump her in the middle of it because you get bored with her. She is welcome to come, but no scenes, okay? I agreed and gave him my solemn promise on this. Now, I know what you are thinking, Hey youre Tucker Max. If he cant take a joke, fuck him, right? Normally, I would agree, but this is a different situation. GoldenBoy is one of my best friends on earth, and I am extraordinarily loyal to my friends, so I was genuinely distressed about this development. Of course, I was the main reason for the impending disaster, but still, I was upset about it.

After about an hour, I went up to check on Katy. She was laying on the girls bed, barely awake, muttering the same thing over and over "I never drink. I shouldn't have done this. I never drink. I just wanted Tucker to like me. I never drink like this." Oh man. This was just not going well. By this point, I have started to approach Shit-Housed, and am upset about breaking my promise to GoldenBoy. Burying these emotions in alcohol is my only way of dealing with it.

We all eventually sit down to dinner, with Katy still passed out upstairs. GoldenBoy and his wife have seated me at a table at the back of the room. It is quite obviously the drunk, boisterous and embarrassing friends table. The table is, along with me and a vacant spot for Miss Vermont, a very interesting cast of characters. GoldenBoys high school friend, well call him TheShepard, was across the table from me. He is a 64 huge Irish Catholic guy that can drink like, well, an Irish Catholic, and has repeatedly been arrested for breaking every type of law related to drinking, including public intoxication, underage consumption, disturbing the peace, bar fighting etc. TheShepards sister, well call her PornStar, a hot redhead who can drink almost as much as TheShepard, was on my other side, and the rest of the table was a motley crue of misfits and heavy drinkers. Strangely, I was the only one of the law school friends there. I guess the bride and groom wanted to avoid the destructive synergy that occurs when you get more than one of us together.

PornStar is loving me. With a hot girl paying attention to me, and gallons of vodka coursing through my veins, I am hitting on all the Tucker Max cylinders. I have the table in tears laughing, telling them the standard TMax stories, making fun of my passed out date, etc. PornStar came to the wedding dateless and had some very obvious fuck me eyes fixed on me. She was leaning towards me, seductively whispering something in my ear and concurrently giving me a glimpse down her sundress, a nice choice that was also without a bra under it, when all of the sudden, I felt a tap on my shoulder.

HOLY DRUNKEN WHORE, BATMAN--ITS MISS VERMONT!

Hi.

She was putting on her best obsequious, Im-sorry-puppy-dog eyes. It was not working, because she was obviously still drunk.

Me What are you doing up? Are you OK?

Katy Yeah. Im sorry. I never drink.

Well who would have guessed? People often pass out at wedding receptions...at 7pm.

Sorry. I felt better, and I wanted-ted to come see you. She actually said, wanted-ted.

Are you still drunk? Oh fuck. Just go back to bed please. Ill wake you up when we leave.

She stayed. It actually made for a funny rest of the dinner, as PornStar glared at her, TheShepard quizzed her about her pageant life for the amusement of the table, and I sat back and watched it all. After dinner, all hell really broke loose.

The next few hours are somewhat hazy in my memory, but for some reason or another Katy and I got into a huge fight. This culminated in her coming up to PWJ, asking him for a hug, and then whispering in his ear God, your heart is beating so fast. Her self-esteem wasnt helped any when PWJ just walked away, shaking his head. In the meantime, I was drowning my sorrows by becoming even drunker.

Little did I know, Goldenboy was pretty much unaware of the Miss Vermont theatrics, as the entire Duke Law crew was putting on such a show that my drama was pushed off stage. And believe me, it takes something special to do that. One of the older female guests brought a small dog to the wedding, and ECredit got the dog drunk. It was wobbling around, [it was] barking all slurred. Hate was dancing with old women, throwing them around the reception tent like it was an audition for a Gap swing dance commercial. PWJ was hooking up with a college freshman in her room in the bed and breakfast while her father was quizzing GoldenBoy about her whereabouts. But alas for PWJ, this little amorous adventure was broken up by her vomiting on his foot.

When Miss Vermont decided to have another drink just to piss me off, around 11pm, I just left. I took the keys to her Explorer and drove back to the beach house, where the post party was going to be. I didnt know this at the time, but PWJ and Brownhole had to convince her not to call the cops and report her vehicle stolen. Nice touch, Katy.

I got to the beach house, cracked a beer, and waited. And waited. And waited. Where the fuck was everyone? When people finally started pouring in, the reason for everyones tardiness was conferred to me Hate had crashed the van that was supposed to shuttle everyone from the bed and breakfast to their cars. Apparently, the parents had got together, and picked the person they thought most sober to drive the shuttle van. Somehow, much to the dismay of the Duke Law crowd, they picked Hate, mistaking his brooding scowl of a face for soberness, instead of the pent up drunken rage that it is. He hit the accelerator and immediately drove the van into a ditch filled with mud. It stuck. With the bride, groom, and both sets of parents in the van. When they couldnt get it out of the mud (by this time everyone other than Miss Vermont, who stayed in the van, was coated in mud), they simply walked.

Nonetheless, everyone got to the house safely, and the real partying started. Katy was thankfully nowhere to be found, she had apparently passed out again, and BrownHole had taken her to the other house to put her to bed. PWJ came up to me and pulled me aside, Hey man, wer frenz and stuff, an dat gurl wanz me. He was pointing to PornStar, who was talking to her brother in the kitchen. Ya gotta help me. She says she wont hook up wither brother around. Hook me up. I had already let one friend down that night and I was going to make it up by helping my other friend sleep with a girl I wanted to sleep with. I grabbed two bottles of Moet champagne, thrust one under TheShepards nose, and said, Lets see just how Irish you really are, tough guy. Youre not the only one at this party who can drink.

I blacked out an hour and a half later.

[Side note I have been told that I was spotted on the porch singing Irish drinking songs with TheShepard, making up my own words about all women being drunk whores and fornicators and what not. I was also told that I tried to tackle a mailbox on the walk back to my house. PWJ got the better end of this deal. [deleted] He can tell you the details from that story. It is very good, and involves hot tubs, bathrooms, and TheShepards bed, but is not centered on Tucker Max, so it will have to be told elsewhere.]

The next day, I woke up in my bed.

My head felt like it had been run over. I was laying with my face over the side of the bed, and there were at least six towels laying on the floor under my face. As I rolled around the bed trying to regain consciousness and use of my limbs, I realized two things

1. The room stunk. Bad.

. There was vomit all over me.

I came out of my room, and found ECredit and Hate. Upon seeing me, they started laughing and shaking their heads.

Me Dude, man...Did last night happen?

ECredit You missed the best part. After you came home and passed out, you started throwing up all over the bedroom, and Miss Vermont was running around the house yelling, Tucker is died! Tucker is died!

Hate Does that girl know how to conjugate her verbs?

Me [Laughing hysterically] What did you do?

Hate I just yelled at her to roll you on your stomach and leave you alone. You do this all the time, youd be fine.

Katy found me and started yapping at me about something. I just ignored her, took a shower, packed my shit, crawled in the back of the Explorer and went to sleep, awaiting the 16 hour drive home. [Another side note, especially if you are feeling sorry for Katy at this point I did not find out about this until about a year later, but after she had her little hysterical fit about me dying, she went upstairs to BrownHoles room, crawled into bed, and hooked up with him. He swears he didnt sleep with her, but I have my doubts, considering that she is a shameless slut. This is almost forgivable. The next day as we were leaving, she left an autographed 8x10 pageant picture in the sunroof of his car. Then, she called him a couple of times over the next few weeks, sometimes for advice about me, sometimes just to talk. She told him that she got his number from my cell phone when I wasnt looking. She tried to get Brownhole to fly her up to DC, but he wouldnt do it. His only goal is to follow me as much as possible, not to fall in love with them.] We pulled out, and I fell back asleep.

I was jarred awake not 0 minutes later as we got pulled over and got a ticket. The violation going 70 in a 45. Katy wanted to get home. I drifted in and out of consciousness over the next ten hours. As we drove into South Carolina, I reminded her of two facts The South Carolina State Police make their living with speed traps on Interstates, and we hadnt sex in that state yet. She ignored me, so I went back to sleep. I was awaken 0 minutes later by her hysterical sobbing. We got pulled over again, this time for going 5 in a 65. I told her to stop crying, that State Police dont fall for that shit.

SHUT UP--THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT! MY PARENTS ARE GOING TO FIND OUT ABOUT THESE TICKETS!! WHAT AM I GOING TO DO!?!? THEY ARE GOING TO KNOW I WENT TO NORTH CAROLINA

When are we going to fuck? Were almost out of South Carolina.

SHUT UP YOU ASSHOLE!!

I didnt call her or anything over the next week, and just figured I had burned down another relationship, when she called me one day at work. She apologized for her actions at the wedding, and asked if she could see me again, that she had something for me. I told her to come by the restaurant, that I would see her. I alerted my staff that a crazy woman was coming and to possibly be ready to call the cops. She showed up in a skin tight white tank top, breasts thrust forward in a super miracle bra. Her yellow tennis skirt was nicely cut about five inches below her crotch. Her demure smile and Fuck Me eyes foretold the most dangerous and irresistible kind of seduction sexual.

Hey. She stood right next to me, placed her hand on my arm, her breasts ever so slightly brushing against me, Im sorry. I brought you something.

She handed me a framed picture that almost put me into shock. Let me attempt a description of this thing A silver frame around a 5x7 picture of Katy and I at the wedding reception, me in my suit and her in her red dress, minutes after we arrived and before our first drink. Across the top of the picture, painted in white sparkle paint, are the words, Alpha Male. There are little yellow streamers painted down the side. On the back, in silver paint, is this paragraph, Tucker, Thank you so much for taking me to the wedding! You are the best! Love, Katy. I was completely befuddled. I had no idea how to react to this. I still dont.

This girl was either the stupidest female I had ever come across, or the shrewdest, most conniving person on earth. I couldnt figure out which.

We started seeing each other again, sort of. Katy tried to say it was purely as friends, but we were fucking again after about three days. This continued, in a weird sort of dysfunctional dance, for a few weeks. One day I even took her to a gun range. She had never shot a gun before, and so I taught her the basic Weaver Stance and A-frame Stance, how to load, fire and clear a pistol, etc. She was fascinated, and loved it so much she started going on her own, and eventually bought her own pistol.

One night two friends of mine were in town on their honeymoon, and I brought them to my restaurant for dinner. I also invited two really hot female friends of mine (both of whom were married at the time), and Katy. I had to work most of the time, but they all sat together and had a great time, with me coming over to the table at various times to inject that special Tucker magic that always makes social situations that much more fun and interesting. At some point during the night, Katy, after a few drinks Im sure, decided that she just had to taste me, pulls me off the floor (I was the floor manager at Maxs Grille at the time) and into a bathroom stall, where she proceeds to pull down my pants and eat my member for dinner. As much as I was trying to ignore it, there seemed to be an increase in traffic in the bathroom, but whatever, Im getting my dick sucked by Miss Vermont in the bathroom, they can wait to take a dump. We leave the bathroom, and back to our various posts. [Side note I got in A LOT of trouble for that. A couple of the gay waiters told the general manager, who told my dad, and well, though my dad thought it was funny, he still got mad at me.]

Even though she was probably not going to last a long time, an event that night was what sealed Miss Vermonts doom. Giving me head in the bathroom got her some cool points, but she lost them all and then some when, talking to my two married female friends, she said, I hope I look like you when Im your age. At the time, Katy was . My two friends were 5 and 7, respectively, and both were, and still are, MUCH hotter than Katy. Tucker is a lot of things, and a drunk incident notwithstanding, loyal might be the biggest one. These two women are two of my best friends in the world, and to piss them off is the quickest way to get on my bad side. Karens quote, Who the fuck does she think she is? And HELLO--shes not looking so great herself. I guess pageants make your face a little leathery. Tucker, you cant fuck her anymore, I dont like her.

If they dont like a girl I am dating, shes out. I started ignoring Katy more and more, and then I met another girl (incidentally, it was Joanne Romanovich, the girl that eventually became one of the three or four defining relationships of my life, for reasons that will not be explored here, but just to let you know, the beginning of my upcoming novel revolves around her and my relationship with her). I was preparing to go to a wedding in Akron, Ohio (the one where I hooked up with the MILF), making it easy to ignore her.

After a few days of ignoring Katy and not returning calls, I thought Katy had finally got the picture.

I was wrong.

I left my apartment to go to the airport, and saw something under my windshield. At first, I thought it was a leaflet for a local band or church, but as I approached the car, I realized it was MUCH too big for that. I unfolded it, and realized it was a bullet-hole-riddled gun range target, the same one Miss Vermont had shot up while we were at the range. At first I was frightened for my life. Then I realized a note was written on the back. Ill transcribe it here until I actually scan it in

Thank you very much for taking me to shoot a gun! I had a mind-blowing experience! I hope you have a safe trip and have a really fun time at the wedding! Im sure it wont be quite as eventful as the last one...(or at least you hope not!)

It is too bad that things are not better between us. Things were so perfect the first days. Now all we do is fight and are mean to each other. You taught me so much and you have made me a much happier and more productive person! My gossip is a lot more juicer because of you!

I wish we were better together, so I guess its goodbye. I dont want to make you mad anymore.

Katy

Oh Jesus, what have I done?

Not only did I teach her how to shoot, I once had a conversation with this girl after watching a war movie about why the ambushes in the movie were technically incorrect and how to set up a good one, AND I described to her, in accurate detail, how to recon and snipe in a urban environment, another area that the movie was weak on.

I drove to the airport looking over my shoulder the whole way, fully expecting a hail of gunfire to break out at any moment. I must have circled the parking lot at the Fort Lauderdale airport 10 times trying to see if anyone was following me. After a week free of any sort of sniper attempts, I let my guard down. It was then I answered my phone without checking the caller ID, and lo and behold, its Miss AK-47. She was just as happy and jovial as ever, and asked advice on how we could get back together. I swear to my god she asked me this.

My quote, You want advice? Go find a really good psychotherapist, and get help, because you are fucked up.

She hung up and I havent heard from her since.

______________________

thank god for her sake shes attractive, otherwise shed starve to death

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