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Who Shall I Be?

In Who Shall I Be?, Crichton argues that “Our guiding principle is the fresh start, our foundation the big move, and nothing seduces like the promise of a clean slate” (Crichton 16).

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In the text, Crichton says that there are a lot of people who want to move away to college to get a fresh start. Rusty for example, wanted to move away because she didn’t want to carry the burden of throwing up at Bob Stonehill’s party. She knows for sure that no one would ever forget the incident, and she was eager to go some place where no one would knows her. Rusty said it herself, “Going away to college gives us a chance to rinse off part of our past, to shake off our burdensome reputations” (Crichton 17).

Another reason why people want to go away to college is because of stereotypes, and banishing those stereotypes is not acceptable in high school society. People are not given chances to do something new if you’re a drama kid, you’re a drama kid forever; if you’re a jock, there’s no way that you will be in theater; if you’re a geek, don’t push your luck in hanging out with the cheerleaders. It’s hard to find your true identity in high school because no matter what you do--good or bad--people will always pin you down.

Every one of us have the right to have a clean slate. A new beginning and finally a chance to be somebody else. Crichton said that, “Sometimes you need a radical change in order to form an identity independent of your family, even if that change is a weird but transient reaction” (Who 0). Those changes can only happen in college, for people don’t know your history. College is the right time to find your true self without making pretensions, and that’s why people couldn’t wait to get to college, but we should also keep in mind that “..a blank slate isn’t the same as a blank self, and the point of the blank slate that college provides is not to erase the past, but to sketch out a new history with a revisionist perspective and an optimist’s acts” (Crichton 0).

In my opinion, changing identities in college basically says that you lack self-esteem. Why change later if you could change now? Why wait until college? Maybe some people are scared to take risks and not succeed, but not me. I hate pretensions, and if people don’t like me for what I am then so be it. I’m not going to cover up just to be accepted by society. I am what I am and nothing will ever change that. There’s only one exception, and that is if I change to satisfy myself and not because I want to fit in. I know a lot of people from my high school who were hiding in their closets, because they didn’t want others to know who they really were. They weren’t as innocent as everybody thought, and if someone saw one of them with a boy it would automatically be the talk of the town. A year after we graduated from high school, I heard than one of those girls is expecting a baby. Looking back, I think college was her getaway but she lost control. She was probably so eager to go out of the closet, that by the time she got to college she was like a bird freed from its cage. I’m thinking that if she had been true to herself, without thinking what other people would say about her then she probably would not have been pregnant.

Yes, college gives us the opportunity to find our true identity and forget the past, but it is also from our past�our mistakes�that we learn how to become better individuals. We can’t just move on with our lives without looking back to our mistakes, instead we should use those mistakes as guidelines in making decisions.

Changing ones identity is living a lie. Living a lie is not living at all. You might think that all your hard work is useless, because you’re not doing it for yourself. That’s where self-affirmation comes in. We have to affirm that we will always flaws, and we shouldn’t be scared of it. It is now our duty to carry those flaws and make the most out of it. Joan’s a rich kid, but beneath the image was a girl with a not-so-acceptable family background. No one knew that her mother was a cocktail waitress and she doesn’t know who her father is. She traveled around the country on a trailer until she got in a good school and had her life changed. Joan was hiding her background and probably wanted to change the lie that she was living up to.

In summary, we all have the power to change our identity. We all have our reasons why or why not we change, and it’s our responsibility to evaluate what changes we might do. We also shouldn’t let others decide for ourselves. It’s all up to us whether we might want to change identities and live a lie, or have people accept what we really are and live without pretensions. No one knows us better than ourselves. That’s a fact. I think we should not put on masks for the reason to be accepted. We shouldn’t be upset if people don’t like us because we didn’t meet their “standard”. I bet there are other people who have same interests as we do, and would most likely appreciate us better. It might take a while to find where we belong, but I think it’s worth the wait. So, Who shall I be? That’s one question only you can answer.

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